assalamualaikum. so today, in year of 2019, i'm 21 years old. in Malaysia, the age you can start driving is 16 (or maybe 17 i don't remember) years old. i see many of my friends taking driving licences during my studies. then they got a day off like wednesday for reason of JPJ test. i don't understand that time. since little i always said a driver (diupah) is better than driving yourself. maybe because i was scared.

finish 5 yrs diploma - include on job training- i started working at Midvalley. my wages not much, but it's enough for me to alive. i get around 1,200 like that per month included commission. before this, Buci once asked me don't i want to take driving licence? i told her i don't have rich parents like other kids to support the fee. my mom and my real dad passed away. i feel bad for answering to her like that. 

until one day, i got hidayah. alhamdulillah.

i registered to a driving school at gombak under an agent -that shela took before- and started around June. i paid full by bank in cause i don't like to be in debt. most people pay by installments. so first was the kursus for few hours. the payment include transport pickup from bus stop near my house. at first it was mr. az*** he looks like in his 40s.

then weeks after that got computer test at myeg centre. i passed. got 42 or 44 marks i'm not sure. after that, my first class or driving a real car. manual. my teacher that day is cg A**. my schedule around noon that time but i didn't receive yet my L licence yet. they said to get from mr Ha*** that sitting there but searched, no found. asked F*** , admin at the office said no too. after hours, she finally said someone left it at the office. my hours already passed and it's other student turns to use the car. i went there since morning, tired under the sun, waited for the reply that no one cares but i'm okay. saw few dragonflies near the longkang so i sit there to take pictures. it's fun to live in nature. suddenly mr az asked, "merajuk ke?" - by seeing my situations sitting tepi longkang.

i'm fine, totally. i think it's first time ever in my life someone actually asked me that question. aku terharu.

so finally the next class i have that card that gonna expired on October. cg A teach me and i copy notes. i kinda serabut the time changing gear cause i keep looking while driving. he keep mad at me hahaha. two time class with him, suddenly F give schedule i'm with cg Z**. i got freak out. what if he's so garang and eat me alive. i'm still in the basics. so the day arrive. at first, he asked what i don't understand. then he explained slowly to me, one by one. he drive the car to outside driving school, tepi kedai kat luar tu. then asked me to drive. i got new experience start drive from flat road. before kinda berbukit. he so nice teacher. 

then next class is cg A again. hurmm

after hills, got corner Z and S. i'm a slow learner person. got one time almost hit the divider cause i late turning the steering. cg A accidentally touched my hand *on the steering*

then learn the parking, that time with cg S***, a female teacher. i feel somehow happy. even she marah, feel like motherly advice. got two types of parking, box and T shape.

i've been to class many times, like ten times, more than what book said like few hours only then proceed to test. i'm grateful got practiced a lot.

oh, about the transport pickup driver, mr A he quit middle of my class. heard that he got conflicts with students who get mad because late or far living. i don't know the whole story. there was one time, mr raja (maybe his real name) pickup. the car was axia and got no aircond. i'm fine with that. at the back seat kinda full with documents. he's so nice person. he said kamu semua boleh berjaya (something like good luck, all the best) to all student he delivers. thank you. really, thank you. cg S also have deliver me home twice, with her taxi car. of course i didn't forget. the usual pickup driver then is mr S*****, using the same car but with teddy bear decoration. what? a guy with that image... ok i won't judge

my L licence got expired so i went to post office and renew it for rm32 - 3 months until early January next year. i keep learning. i'm human too, got mistakes sometimes. i feel sad cg A have said, takpelah gagal boleh bayar ulang balik test- during my clumsy times. am i so stupid until you predict me gonna fail? am i hopeless? do i look like i can pay everything? my future seem dark.

i just said nothing when he said that.

so finally booking date for the test. said about two weeks after booking. i came to class then cg A said why bother coming? you just apply test date yesterday. ohhh. ok. so about a month i didn't came. i texted F for a class then i cancel cause i want to visit my dad in hopsital HBKL, got operation. it's almost near the test. finally F tell my test on 11 Dec. ok. what? so thursday 5 Dec supposed my last revision practice driving. i've been memorizing my notes. couldn't sleep well at night. washed clothes including working outfit a day before. the nervousness is real. F said pickup -this time is mr P*** cause mr S absent- will be morning cause class at 10am. after subuh i waited, half an hour passed. maybe got traffic jammed. an hour. finally ten o'clock in the morning. nothing. i gave up. i feel so angry that time. at 11am like that, mr P texted me to give location. i apologized and i said i don't want to come. promise me what time and now is what?? he said F gave my number just now (almost noon). i get really emotional that time.

few days passed, i went to work like normal until monday. at night i didn't check my phone. in the morning, after eat, everything, i found out F wassap me at 11pm asking whether want to come to class tomorrow (tuesday 10 Dec). i feel it's too late to reply to her now so i did nothing. NOTHING!

so wednesday arrived. at night couldn't sleep well. i said to myself, i can do this.

around 8am mr P arrived. he didn't ask about that day. everyone kinda silent in the car. there, can see many police a.k.a. JPJ walking around. at canteen met cg S. she asked why i didn't come practice. i got stutter and answer got miscommunication. 

 my number quite far which is above forty on session 2. the session 1 will be doing road jalan raya first then the circuit inside and we vice versa. so we started with RPK and RSM. yeah i've memorized it. the policewoman divided the explanation like 2 people per car. i got the engine part and RSM. at the engine i couldn't really find the parts like the location of rubber hose. i keep meraba *sorry for the language* inside engine. i choose to speak loud what i remember eventhough my hand holding other component. after done that, went uphill -there got seats- waiting in line for hill/slope test. they called by number then get into car and start all the circuit. i get even nervous cause my number quite far end. my turn, i get into car, do 5 basic steps and move. ok, good inside yellow line. now need to get downhill. i pressed gas highly, slowly pulling leg from clutch then the car move backward. i stopped. trying again, still backward a bit. then i was told to get out from the car. i failed. at the first course hahaha. couldn't continue toward Z S or parking. 

the good part i still can continue for road (jalan raya) test. so ulangan only circuit needed. somehow, that moment my nervousness totally gone. i feel happy.

i accepted the fact that i am stupid. what i can i do about it?

hahaha. so i continue to next dewan waiting for my turn. it's almost lunch hour. this time i sit beside an English man cause his number before me. he keep drinking water from his bottle (2pcs) that he bring. i asked few questions and he replied a lot hahaha. i like to keep conversation going rather than getting awkward. he said this year he didn't go back to England for Christmas. he also said he was here in Malaysia almost 7 yrs. now his UK licence (international driving licence type) need to follow Malaysia licence that's why he's here. he's a drama teacher at international school at mont kiara. that's amazing. he also told about his wife and 2 sons and 1 daughter.

seeing outside while waiting, only axia. aren't there manual car? normally here all axia for auto students. i usually drive viva here. my turns now. i get out waiting for the student (indian male) to done then i enter. ok manual transmission. i see the policeman jpj seems tired. he hold the borang i gave then his hand with a pen got freeze, like not moving.

yup, he fall asleep for few seconds. i do the basic 5 steps then wait he giving order - which route should i take for the test. he said nothing then asked why i'm not moving. jalan 3? "jalan laaaa"

hahaha. i like that road. no traffic lights. about to go, i couldn't push down the handbrake. man, kerasnya orang sebelum ni tarik. i asked for his help then he got angry. i really shouldn't ask. he said masa RSM tak check tu la. yeah my bad. so i used both hands and did it. i move slowly, really avoid holes on the road, not like when cg A was beside the car usually jumping. sorry. at the end of road 3 got few RELA people and two orange cones at middle of road. so need to drive between those cones. piece of pudding.

i thought after finishes this, i didn't have to come to this place again but nope. yeah i'm ok. i know i can drive. i believe i can.

my mom believe me. i have all the love i need :)

i am blessed ❤️

Thank you for reading

assalamualaikum. so today, in year of 2019, i'm 21 years old. in Malaysia, the age you can start driving is 16 (or maybe 17 i don't remember) years old. i see many of my friends taking driving licences during my studies. then they got a day off like wednesday for reason of JPJ test. i don't understand that time. since little i always said a driver (diupah) is better than driving yourself. maybe because i was scared.

finish 5 yrs diploma - include on job training- i started working at Midvalley. my wages not much, but it's enough for me to alive. i get around 1,200 like that per month included commission. before this, Buci once asked me don't i want to take driving licence? i told her i don't have rich parents like other kids to support the fee. my mom and my real dad passed away. i feel bad for answering to her like that. 

until one day, i got hidayah. alhamdulillah.

i registered to a driving school at gombak under an agent -that shela took before- and started around June. i paid full by bank in cause i don't like to be in debt. most people pay by installments. so first was the kursus for few hours. the payment include transport pickup from bus stop near my house. at first it was mr. az*** he looks like in his 40s.

then weeks after that got computer test at myeg centre. i passed. got 42 or 44 marks i'm not sure. after that, my first class or driving a real car. manual. my teacher that day is cg A**. my schedule around noon that time but i didn't receive yet my L licence yet. they said to get from mr Ha*** that sitting there but searched, no found. asked F*** , admin at the office said no too. after hours, she finally said someone left it at the office. my hours already passed and it's other student turns to use the car. i went there since morning, tired under the sun, waited for the reply that no one cares but i'm okay. saw few dragonflies near the longkang so i sit there to take pictures. it's fun to live in nature. suddenly mr az asked, "merajuk ke?" - by seeing my situations sitting tepi longkang.

i'm fine, totally. i think it's first time ever in my life someone actually asked me that question. aku terharu.

so finally the next class i have that card that gonna expired on October. cg A teach me and i copy notes. i kinda serabut the time changing gear cause i keep looking while driving. he keep mad at me hahaha. two time class with him, suddenly F give schedule i'm with cg Z**. i got freak out. what if he's so garang and eat me alive. i'm still in the basics. so the day arrive. at first, he asked what i don't understand. then he explained slowly to me, one by one. he drive the car to outside driving school, tepi kedai kat luar tu. then asked me to drive. i got new experience start drive from flat road. before kinda berbukit. he so nice teacher. 

then next class is cg A again. hurmm

after hills, got corner Z and S. i'm a slow learner person. got one time almost hit the divider cause i late turning the steering. cg A accidentally touched my hand *on the steering*

then learn the parking, that time with cg S***, a female teacher. i feel somehow happy. even she marah, feel like motherly advice. got two types of parking, box and T shape.

i've been to class many times, like ten times, more than what book said like few hours only then proceed to test. i'm grateful got practiced a lot.

oh, about the transport pickup driver, mr A he quit middle of my class. heard that he got conflicts with students who get mad because late or far living. i don't know the whole story. there was one time, mr raja (maybe his real name) pickup. the car was axia and got no aircond. i'm fine with that. at the back seat kinda full with documents. he's so nice person. he said kamu semua boleh berjaya (something like good luck, all the best) to all student he delivers. thank you. really, thank you. cg S also have deliver me home twice, with her taxi car. of course i didn't forget. the usual pickup driver then is mr S*****, using the same car but with teddy bear decoration. what? a guy with that image... ok i won't judge

my L licence got expired so i went to post office and renew it for rm32 - 3 months until early January next year. i keep learning. i'm human too, got mistakes sometimes. i feel sad cg A have said, takpelah gagal boleh bayar ulang balik test- during my clumsy times. am i so stupid until you predict me gonna fail? am i hopeless? do i look like i can pay everything? my future seem dark.

i just said nothing when he said that.

so finally booking date for the test. said about two weeks after booking. i came to class then cg A said why bother coming? you just apply test date yesterday. ohhh. ok. so about a month i didn't came. i texted F for a class then i cancel cause i want to visit my dad in hopsital HBKL, got operation. it's almost near the test. finally F tell my test on 11 Dec. ok. what? so thursday 5 Dec supposed my last revision practice driving. i've been memorizing my notes. couldn't sleep well at night. washed clothes including working outfit a day before. the nervousness is real. F said pickup -this time is mr P*** cause mr S absent- will be morning cause class at 10am. after subuh i waited, half an hour passed. maybe got traffic jammed. an hour. finally ten o'clock in the morning. nothing. i gave up. i feel so angry that time. at 11am like that, mr P texted me to give location. i apologized and i said i don't want to come. promise me what time and now is what?? he said F gave my number just now (almost noon). i get really emotional that time.

few days passed, i went to work like normal until monday. at night i didn't check my phone. in the morning, after eat, everything, i found out F wassap me at 11pm asking whether want to come to class tomorrow (tuesday 10 Dec). i feel it's too late to reply to her now so i did nothing. NOTHING!

so wednesday arrived. at night couldn't sleep well. i said to myself, i can do this.

around 8am mr P arrived. he didn't ask about that day. everyone kinda silent in the car. there, can see many police a.k.a. JPJ walking around. at canteen met cg S. she asked why i didn't come practice. i got stutter and answer got miscommunication. 

 my number quite far which is above forty on session 2. the session 1 will be doing road jalan raya first then the circuit inside and we vice versa. so we started with RPK and RSM. yeah i've memorized it. the policewoman divided the explanation like 2 people per car. i got the engine part and RSM. at the engine i couldn't really find the parts like the location of rubber hose. i keep meraba *sorry for the language* inside engine. i choose to speak loud what i remember eventhough my hand holding other component. after done that, went uphill -there got seats- waiting in line for hill/slope test. they called by number then get into car and start all the circuit. i get even nervous cause my number quite far end. my turn, i get into car, do 5 basic steps and move. ok, good inside yellow line. now need to get downhill. i pressed gas highly, slowly pulling leg from clutch then the car move backward. i stopped. trying again, still backward a bit. then i was told to get out from the car. i failed. at the first course hahaha. couldn't continue toward Z S or parking. 

the good part i still can continue for road (jalan raya) test. so ulangan only circuit needed. somehow, that moment my nervousness totally gone. i feel happy.

i accepted the fact that i am stupid. what i can i do about it?

hahaha. so i continue to next dewan waiting for my turn. it's almost lunch hour. this time i sit beside an English man cause his number before me. he keep drinking water from his bottle (2pcs) that he bring. i asked few questions and he replied a lot hahaha. i like to keep conversation going rather than getting awkward. he said this year he didn't go back to England for Christmas. he also said he was here in Malaysia almost 7 yrs. now his UK licence (international driving licence type) need to follow Malaysia licence that's why he's here. he's a drama teacher at international school at mont kiara. that's amazing. he also told about his wife and 2 sons and 1 daughter.

seeing outside while waiting, only axia. aren't there manual car? normally here all axia for auto students. i usually drive viva here. my turns now. i get out waiting for the student (indian male) to done then i enter. ok manual transmission. i see the policeman jpj seems tired. he hold the borang i gave then his hand with a pen got freeze, like not moving.

yup, he fall asleep for few seconds. i do the basic 5 steps then wait he giving order - which route should i take for the test. he said nothing then asked why i'm not moving. jalan 3? "jalan laaaa"

hahaha. i like that road. no traffic lights. about to go, i couldn't push down the handbrake. man, kerasnya orang sebelum ni tarik. i asked for his help then he got angry. i really shouldn't ask. he said masa RSM tak check tu la. yeah my bad. so i used both hands and did it. i move slowly, really avoid holes on the road, not like when cg A was beside the car usually jumping. sorry. at the end of road 3 got few RELA people and two orange cones at middle of road. so need to drive between those cones. piece of pudding.

i thought after finishes this, i didn't have to come to this place again but nope. yeah i'm ok. i know i can drive. i believe i can.

my mom believe me. i have all the love i need :)

i am blessed ❤️

Thank you for reading